St. John’s, Newfoundland

Due to extreme weather conditions around the ice flows, some sealing ships had to return to St. John’s harbour.

To get some perspective on the situation, I spoke with the Captain of the sealing vessel BookemDanno, Flipper O’Harp jr.

Leaks: “Mr O’Harp, tanks fer talkin to me. So, wha’s goin on b’y?”

O’Harp: “Me men are eager to get back to the job but, she’s too friggin rough to go out! We got no choice but to wait d’starm out I s’pose. I’m just worried that de b’ys won’t be back in time b’fore we have t’leave…I knows they’re all liquored up. I’m itchin to get back out t’ere and make some money. Time tis wastin b’y. Ev’ry day that I misses, me fadder, Flipper O’Harp is turnin ov’r in his grave.”

Seeing the urgency, I contacted the local meteorologist: April May Flowers-Shower,
“There’s a high pressure system blowing outta my ars”*Click* – I guess she wasn’t awake at 5:30am…who knew?

Walking on George Street at 6am is like walking through a zombie horror-movie set. But I soon found those who I wanted to speak with: “The Clubbers”.

After engaging in many vulgar renditions of ‘Aunt Marta’s Sheep’ and ‘Delila’, I managed to squeek out a couple questions.

Leaks- “Some members of society feel dat yer clubbing is barbaric and ya use antiquated equipment to do yer job. What do you have to say to them?”

Jess-“Well b’ys come down to de Shore. We’ll take you out clubbin… You people got jobs…this is ours; Clubbin.
I’d club 24/7 if I could. Me and the b’ys, would take on all comers to a club-off.
The B’ys-“Club-off!”

Leaks-“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh? You’d club 24/7 if you could?!”

Jess-“Only harsh to the other clubbers I s’pose. Some of em just can’t keep up wit us. When me and me posse club, we mean business!”
The B’ys-“Business!”

Leaks-“So, where you b’ys from anyways? Ya don’t look like a stereotypical ‘clubber’.”

Jess-“Ov’r ’round de Shore!”
The B’ys-“Ov’r ’round de Shore!”
“Ov’r ’round de Shore!”
“Ov’r ’round de Shore!”

We then realized we was interviewing the cast of an upcoming NTV show ‘Round Da Newfie Shore.

Oh well…they like clubbin too…

By the time I got back to Flipper, he was gone. Not sure if his men made it back… Bring me back a pie, Flipper.

Til Next Time Remember: Ne’er wipe the inside of yer car windows when they’re steamed up…you’ll see the spot fer years…

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