it making a sound?

Listen…is it making a sound?

Gross Morne, Newfoundland

It has been often asked by Politicians and Comedians alike – “when a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it really make a sound?” The answer could be mere months away. The Newfoundland government has allocated tax money to fund a study on the unauthenticated query.

“In this venture, the government has squandered hundreds of dollars on ‘state of the art’ equipment that is nothing but refurbished 80’s rejects!” Opposition Leaders said; “S.A.R.S. -Seismic Audio Recording System was a lot of wasted money on antiquated microphones and tape recorders! It’s a stupid project. Our taxpayer funds could be better allocated to the travel budget!”

The government’s position is steadfast. They wish to put Newfoundland on the map by proving/disproving the age-old question.
“I want to show that we are always in support of science and technology. Thus, make it known that a Newfoundlander may crack the code…it’s like our own Da VinTree Code!” said the Premier.

Protests from the “Silent Horticultural-Including Trees” (SH-IT for short) go unheard.
In a brief memo sent to me from SH-IT it reads:
“We here at SH-IT are pushing hard to purge this openly malodourous disregard for the environment. We wipe ourselves at the governments decision to crack the code. Forthwith, the SH-IT foundation will clog the pipes of justice fighting for the rights of trees everywhere!”
They haven’t been the first to voice their scathing open protest to the government. The National Association Of Pessimists (NAP) had this to say: “Bad things always happen in trees…”

There is also the Ecological aspect; the trees will have to be ‘encouraged’ to fall. Hundreds of trees will have to be tested before the final results are in, and the experiment can begin.

After some research, I have concluded that the same scientists working on the project also headed the ‘Solar Powered Flashlight’ debacle of 2002 and the ‘Submarine Screen Door’ disaster of the mid 80’s.

As all eyes are focused on Newfoundland for the answer. All ears will be pounding with the silence of heartbeats, thumpin with anticipation of answering one of mankind’s most dumbfounding questions. Hopefully the government will figure it all out…because we trust them…don’t we…

‘Til Next Time Remember: Buy in Bulk, and $ave!

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