China Asks To Buy Labrador…I Asks, WWDD?

Labrador City, NL

NewfiLeaks has recently learned that a proposal may have been brought to the table by China. What might have happened in a late night telegraph, according to a possibly reliable source, is they most likely have put up an offer to purchase Labrador from Newfoundland, but with some conditions…

December 7, 2010 – Just 5 days into her new title as Premier of Newfoundland, Kathy Dunderdale had her first big decision; whether or not to sell Labrador.

The Offer:

-Newfoundland is to release all resources and land ownership. Any and all agreements with companies or Aboriginal groups would be Null and Void. Effective Immediately.
-China is to change name to Chinador. Effective immediately.
-Quebec has to be kicked out. Effective Yesterday.
-Upper and Lower Churchill is to be developed, funded, and maintained by the hands of Newfoundlanders for 99 years. Any and all profits will be Newfoundland’s. Effective Immediately.
-Anyone not wishing to live in a communist society will be relocated within 2 Months.
-Rex Goudie is to perform in Chinador City twice a year. Effective Immediately.
-Workforce will come from Newfoundland Island and be on a 2-week on, 2-week off rotating schedule.
-Snook is to perform 8 times a year, not including Chinese New Year. Effective 2 weeks from signing.

All for the door crasher price of $1.7 Trillion, a bag of roast chicken potato chips and a can of Pineapple Crush to every Newfoundlander…

“I means, tis a great idee to git rid of Quebec…but, to live under Chinese rule, not sure if me and the missus would be very keen on that… we’d still like the bag of chips tho…”

On a recent trip to Nain I spoke to George Kujurapatikopalook. He said, “I do not want to have to relocate. But if I stay I do not want to change my last name to Yu neither…”

Joe Newfoundlander said, “I not too shore about this… I means, I loves Chinese food as much as the next fuller, but to have to eat it ev’ry day? I don’t know… Do they make anyting with hard bread ‘n’ salt fish in it?”

To Sell or Not to sell, that seems to be the question on everyone’s mind now. As for our 10th Premier Kathy Dunderdale, she’s probably wondering the same as me; “What Would Danny Do?”

We’ll be keeping a close eye on this story as it develops.

‘Til Next Time Remember: Have Your Spouses Spayed And/Or Neutered…

Kung Hei Fat Choi, B’y!

Yet another secret thanks to @NewfiLeaks!!

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